Big News!

First of all, thank you so much to all of you who helped out with our fundraiser! We successfully sold all of our ornaments and bracelets! We are so very thankful for everyone's generosity and support and prayers through this crazy process. We were completely overwhelmed by everyone's enthusiasm and excitement to help out.

Now, I won't keep you in suspense any longer about the big news! We have officially been matched! China has even sent us their official approval called the Letter of Acceptance (LOA)! It's a bit of a crazy story but we are happy and excited to announce that we will be adopting a 4 year old BOY!

Our adoption agency sent out an E-mail a few weeks ago with some "waiting children" (children who are available to be adopted as soon as possible), and we saw our little man at the top. We knew that if he were a girl, we would probably be matched with him. We thought and prayed about it over the weekend and Nick convinced me that we should just ask about him (I was extremely skeptical that our agency would even consider it because of his age and was worried that it would drag this process out even more). But, the worst our agency could do was say no. So, on Monday morning we asked about him and they said that they would send us his file immediately! We got a doctor to look at everything and then sent our Letter of Intent (LOI) to China requesting to adopt him.

It is so clear to me that this was God's plan all along. Things have been moving incredibly quickly ever since we saw his sweet little face. We anticipated the LOA from China to take a month and it took 1.5 weeks. We're almost ready to send in our paperwork to U.S. Immigration (probably the longest part of this whole process), and then paperwork will go back and forth between the U.S. and China until we get to go get him in China! We had to update our home study a little, but it was not as painful or slow as I thought it would be.

There is a trip to his province that perfectly lines up with Nick's Spring Break in mid-March, so we are praying that everything gets done in time for that! It is entirely possible, but would take more of this incredible speed that we've been seeing. It has been an absolute whirlwind! And, the entire process should get done before our upcoming move this summer.

So, our son! He was found in his village as an infant and has been living in an orphanage ever since. He is 4 years old (about 15 months younger than Eli), has a repaired cleft lip and an un-repaired cleft palate and is otherwise described as very healthy and active, so he'll fit right in to our crazy crew, ha! We're anticipating some surgery and orthodontic work and lots of speech therapy once he is home with us. Such a blessing to have healthcare through the Army!

I'm less anxious about the prospect of having 3 boys than I thought I would be. Guess I'm destined to be a boy mom! Girls are honestly more out of my comfort zone. I totally get boys and Eli and Will are thrilled to have another brother! It has all been a wonderful and pleasant surprise- I feel like I thought I was pregnant with a girl and we found out that it was actually a boy! I love looking at the pictures and very short videos that we have and am so anxious to be able to go get him and bring him home!

Thank you again for all of your support and encouragement! We would love prayers as we do a lot of waiting on the government and paperwork and then for the eventual travel and transitions for our family once we bring him home! And if you're interested in seeing pictures, I will absolutely share them privately!

Fundraising

Although we're not matched yet, we have reached a point in our adoption process where it is time for us to start raising funds for the final big expenses to bring our daughter home from China!

With the holiday season approaching, we are going to be selling handmade bracelets and Christmas ornaments:

for $10 each. We are hoping to sell 100 of each. If you would like to support us and our adoption, this would be a wonderful way to do so.

These ornaments and bracelets were made by artisans in Haiti. Half of the proceeds will go to help fund our adoption and the other half goes to the non-profit that employs the artisans. This non-profit is dedicated to helping Haitian parents rise out of extreme poverty by employing them, and teaching them job skills so that they can better provide for their families. If you're looking for more information, the organization is called the Apparent Project and their website is http://apparentproject.org/

Please let us know if you're interested in buying any bracelets and/or ornaments. We have access to Venmo and PayPal if that is easiest for you. We greatly appreciate your support and absolutely treasure your prayers and kind words as we go through this process!

Religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world. James 1:27 ESV

Wait, Wait, Wait

I've been getting a lot of questions lately about the adoption process and if there are any updates. The best answer I can give is, it's complicated. We could get a matching call any day, or it could still be months. Honestly, it has been difficult to not get discouraged and to just trust in God's timing.

The biggest thing is that Nick will be graduating from Stanford in June and we will be moving shortly thereafter. It will most likely to be to Kansas, but we're waiting on the official decision from the Army promotion board to see if Nick is going to be promoted to Major. Either way though, we will be moving. June is only 9 months from now. And, of course, as it goes with adoption, once we get matched, we still get to wait on more paperwork.

Most of the files that our agency receives are "pre-released" from the orphanages, meaning that we have to wait on her particular province in China to officially release the file. This can take a couple weeks or it can take a couple of months, depending on the province. Then, we have to wait for official approval from U.S. Immigration. Then, there's travel approval after that, then we have to get on one of the two trips our agency leads to China each month, also depending on the province that our daughter is in. This all usually takes 3-4 months.

So, you can see why we are a little antsy to get matched. Plus, we just found out that if we have to move before we are completely done with the adoption (meaning we have traveled to China and picked up our daughter), we would have to completely redo our home study and that would set us back months for travel.

Please, please be praying that our daughter's file comes to our agency ASAP! It is so difficult to just sit here and wait for a phone call. The wait after we get matched is going to be tough too, when we know who our daughter is, but the unknown and the looming move are a little stressful. We initially turned in our application over a year ago and we really did not anticipate as many delays as we have had. Our biggest concern is having to move our daughter shortly after bringing her home to America. A move is difficult enough as it is, and we want to ease the transition into our family and a completely new culture as much as possible. Thank you for all of your support!

Waiting for Match

We've been really busy around here and this update is long overdue! We went on an epic road trip up the west coast in the beginning of July and had an absolute blast! While on vacation, our dossier (ridiculous amount of paperwork) was finally sent to China and officially logged into their system! HALLELUJAH! That is pretty much the biggest step in the adoption process and it is finally done!

Now what? Well, we are officially on the list with our agency to be matched and are one of 44 families waiting for a child. We were able to talk with our agency in detail about the special needs that we are open to and now it is just a matter of what files go across their desk when. Although rare, they asked if we are open to twins (2 girls or boy-girl)- apparently it does happen! Eli is praying pretty hard for that possibility. Not holding our breath, but that would be pretty cool.

It seems pretty likely that we will get a 3 or 4 year old girl (which we were anticipating), as most families are only open to up to age 2. Also, I think we're pretty high on the list for any children with orthopedic needs, as we know that's something that the military is very good at treating.

Pretty exciting stuff! It's becoming more real, as it could be anytime that we get "the call" that we've been matched with a child. Even though there are 43 other families on the list, it's not necessarily linear. They all have different "profiles" (gender, ages, special needs, etc) that they're open to.

We're also praying that we get a child from one of the orphanages that is not a "partner" with our agency, as that could shave off a couple of months of waiting. Apparently the way it works in China is, if a child is available for adoption from one of the partner orphanages, their file is "pre-released" to our agency, who can then make a match. But then, it takes a month or two for the file to be actually released by the Chinese government. Either way, after the match is approved, then we have to wait on all of the U.S. immigration stuff as well before we can travel to China. So much hurry up and wait!!!

Obviously, we're ready to get matched ASAP to get the process moving. It's all just a matter of what children are available for adoption when. So keep praying! There are still so many unknowns and it's tough to be patient. One day all of this waiting will be a distant memory!

Hiccups

Good news first- US Immigration finally assigned someone to our case! Also, we were able to complete all of the necessary corrections for our dossier and everything is either at our agency or it's proper location to get authenticated and eventually sent to China!

Bad news- there was something missing from our home study that is necessary to get our immigration paperwork completed. It is extremely basic (just not noted in our home study where it should have been), but still requires some work to get fixed. We're working on it, and it shouldn't require too much extra time, but it definitely feels two steps forward, one step back.

I can't say that we aren't frustrated and finding it difficult to be patient. It feels like any complications at this point are just delaying us that much more. But, we are confident that it is in God's hands and He has the perfect timing for us to bring our little girl home. An adoption book I was reading recently said that it is a lot like pregnancy, in that these complications will be a fleeting memory once our child is home with us.

So keep praying! It will obviously be a huge weight off once all of this paperwork is completed and our dossier is submitted to China. I look forward to giving you all some more good news soon!

Delays

Unfortunately, not a whole lot of progress to report with the adoption. Despite having our paperwork for over a month now, U.S. Immigration has yet to assign an officer to our case. We successfully got fingerprinted again, with both boys in tow, so everything on our end is done. We're just still waiting on that pre-approval to adopt (we haven't been matched to a child yet- this is a step everyone has to take before adopting internationally) and they suggested we keep calling to check in on the status. We *think* it will be about another 3 weeks until we get our paperwork, but then it has to be authenticated and notarized. So pray that things get moving soon!

Otherwise, it looks like the Chinese government has changed a few things and the Chinese consulate doesn't want to authenticate/notarize some documents, so we have to change where certain things are sent and adjust a few minor things. Obviously, this creates some delays with getting all of the rest of our dossier authenticated and notarized. Our agency is taking care of it though, and has a plan in place to get things moving! We're thankfully that these delays are occurring concurrently, but it is still frustrating to be facing them at all. Once everything is where it needs to be, and we get our approval from immigration, we can send our dossier to China and then it opens up our eligibility to be matched with all of the available kids (still depending on the gender, age, special need, etc. that we specified). Our agency is still "optimistically" expecting all of this to take another 6 weeks (!!!!!!) though, which is not really what we wanted to hear. Then, it could still be as long as another 6-9 months to get matched, but that all depends on a million factors, like what kids are released to be adopted and when.

As frustrating as these delays are, we're trying not to get discouraged and trust in God's timing. Honestly, Nick is so steeped in schoolwork right now, even if we were ready to travel to China to get our daughter, I don't know when we would be able to! It's just a busy season right now and it would be much easier to travel when this quarter is over in June and he's done with school until the next quarter starts in September. That's fairly optimistic as far as getting the dossier done and getting matched with our daughter, but crazier things have happened! So, as difficult as it is to be patient, we know that God's timing is perfect and He is in control when we are not and the situation is completely unpredictable. We know that we will most likely be moving in June of 2017, so we're praying that our daughter can at least get a little bit settled before we have to completely uproot her again.

In the meantime, I'm dreaming about matching mommy/daughter hair accessories and trying to figure out how to get better at doing hair (the extent of my hair routine is usually a ponytail) and painting nails and all that having a girl entails. As much as we could totally use some estrogen around here, I am very comfortable in boy world and girl world is completely foreign! The boys are excited too- Eli keeps praying for his sister "Sophia"- no idea where he got that name, but he's stuck on it! Definitely haven't decided anything on a name yet, but I don't think we're going with Sophia! He's also trying to teach his brother the little Mandarin that we know (hello & my name is). Will is surprisingly picking it up!

I can't wait for the real "nesting" to begin though, once we know how old our daughter will be and be able to get a little taste of what she is like from pictures and videos until we get to travel to bring her home!

Thank you all for sharing in this journey with us and keeping us in your prayers! We could sure use them right now! It's crazy to think that we will eventually be becoming a family of five!

Waiting

So we are now to the point in this adoption where there is a lot of waiting. Our agency has the majority of our paperwork for the dossier (large amount of documents that China requires for adoption)- other than a few minor tweaks to a few documents that we will be sending back to them soon.

We also know that US immigration has received our application for approval to adopt from China and are waiting to get the official approval back from them. We also have to get fingerprinted again. Kind of silly since we just had it done in August for our initial application for adoption (and fingerprints don't change), but what can you do. Obviously we will do whatever is necessary to get our child, but there are definitely some adoption related things that make you scratch your head.

In the meantime I thought I would answer some questions I have received lately:

1- There is more of a need for families for boys from China?
It's definitely a common misconception that there are only girls available from China, mostly because of the one child policy that has been in affect there until recently. I was surprised myself! This blog does a good job of explaining why there are so many boys to be adopted: https://mineinchina.wordpress.com/how-did-you-get-a-boy/
But, the basic rundown is that there is a lot of domestic (within country) adoption in China right now and healthy girls are definitely desired. Also, if there is a child born out of wedlock, the stigma that follows the parents is the same, regardless of the gender of the baby. Finally, there is a rise of birth defects in China due mostly to pollution and industrialization, so with the one child policy and the lack of social services, these children (regardless of gender) are the ones put in orphanages.



2- What is next?
We are currently on the list of families waiting for children from our agency. They get periodic updates (a couple of times a month) from the orphanages they work with in China with the children that are available. Since our home study is complete, we could be matched anytime with children with more "moderate to severe" special needs (i.e. spina bifida, missing limbs, or a combination of two or more minor special needs- cleft lip/palate and clubfoot, for example). Once our dossier is submitted to China, we are then eligible to be matched with kids with more "minor" special needs such as cleft lip/palate, clubfoot, treated syphilis, etc. Once we get matched, we have two weeks to accept or decline the match (although we have been very specific with our "child profile" with our agency so we're optimistic that we will not be declining), then we have to wait on some more paperwork (such as a LOA or Letter of Acceptance from China), then we can travel to China to get our daughter within a few months! The sooner the better obviously, but we appreciate the time to make travel arrangements!


3-Why China?
Well, we decided that international adoption was the way we wanted to go for a variety of reasons. Firstly, we are alright with an older child, not an infant, as are most common with domestic (within America) adoptions. Secondly, most domestic adoptions are very open, and being military and moving around as often as we do, we could not always guarantee that we would be able to give the birth mother the contact that she desired. Third, the timeline is very unpredictable with domestic adoption, as you don't know when a biological mother will choose you.

All that being said, we chose China because of the more predictable timelines (usually a year at most from application to completion), the criteria for adoption (ages of parents, length of marriage, amount of biological children allowed, etc.), the amount of children in orphanages and in need of homes and health care for their special needs, and the timeline for travel (different countries require different length of travel as well as amount of trips- China requires one trip of 7-10 days, which is ideal for Nick's schedule and our boys). In learning more about China, we are very intrigued by the rich culture, especially the festivals and hope to bring them in as part of our family traditions in the future.

4- Why are you adopting now? Why not have more biological children?
As I've mentioned before, adoption is part of my family legacy (my mom, uncle & brother were all adopted), so to me, it is a natural way to expand one's family and provide a home for a child who does not otherwise have one. I never had a negative experience with my pregnancies or anything, but I feel as though the desire to have biological children has been met by our two beautiful boys. and God put the desire to adopt on my heart. I have absolutely no "baby fever" right now, but would love to bring an older baby or toddler into our home. Obviously, adoption has its own challenges, but in my mind, they are less intense than balancing a newborn with our energetic boys. 

We also felt that now was a really good time for us to adopt, as Nick's schedule is very predictable with graduate school rather than the Army. So, we thought that we would take advantage!

5- Are the boys coming with you to China?
No, we are planning on leaving them in America with grandparents while Nick and I travel. Since it is a shorter trip, it would be a lot with the time difference and amount of travel involved. Also, this will be the first time we meet our daughter, so we definitely want to start out trying to attach with her without the distraction of the boys.

Well, that is all of the questions and answers that I can think of for now! We will continue to keep you all updated as things progress. Keep praying!