Like losing that giftcard. I still haven't found it and its driving me absolutely crazy. At this point, I'm assuming I just lost it, because I have looked allll over my house. But why didn't I just put it in my wallet or my bag or where I remember having it last? And another thing is that I'm trying to wean Rufus off his pen. Meaning, I'm trying to see if he could handle being out in the house while I'm gone. Well, in the few times I've done it, I've left stuff in places he can reach and he's chewed them up. And I haven't just done it once, I've done it like 5 times. I'm just not thinking or not "running on all cylinders".
I think I'm also burdened by the fact that there is sooo much to do around the house and I'm the one who has to do all of it. Housework, especially, seems endless. I've gotten a lot done this weekend, but I know I'm going to have to do it over & over again to keep this place looking nice. And I feel like, even though we've lived here for almost a year, it is not nearly as organized as I'd like it to be. So thats been a big burden too. I'm making some progress and might hit up the Container Store next weekend, but still. So, not only am I not "put together", my house isn't either.
Today at church, the pastor was talking about the Beatitudes (Matthew 5) and how we have to empty ourselves out so that God can fill us with righteousness. At one point, he started talking about the things that we absolutely must have in our lives that we try to fill up with and he mentioned order. Ya, I think without a doubt, God was speaking right to me. I'm putting this burden on myself that my house needs to look a certain way and I need to be a certain way and its not possible for me to achieve on my own. And God can't do anything with me or my life if I'm trying to fill up my life with this idol of order.
I love that church. I really feel like I learn something every week. And today's group for the spouses of deployed soldiers was great too. There are more ladies from Nick's unit too, which is nice, since the other ladies' husbands will be coming home soon. I'm excited for them, but it can be a little hard to be around that since my husband isn't coming home for a looong time. They have definitely earned it though- their husbands have been gone for 15 months!!!
They keep mentioning small groups and I'm trying to decide if I want to start going to one. I was in one this past summer and loved it. Ideally, I'd love to be in a women's bible study/small group, but they only have one during the day on a weekday. So, any prayer in that area would be greatly appreciated. I have a few to choose from, so I don't really know which one would be good.
2 comments:
I feel like I have 'deployment brain.' I've done some really stupid stuff since he left...even at work!
I get like that as well. Chris has only been gone a week (less than, actually) but sometimes i feel consumed by it. A couple weeks before he left i was incredibly forgetful which is so unlike me. I missed a meeting and would just honestly forget to return emails.. it was terrible. THings are coming back together though.
Post a Comment